About Us

We Love Christmas Yard Decorations

Once upon a time I met this fat dude named Santa Claus and he made a big impression on me.

I was a little kid at the time, and didn't understand things like arteriosclerosis, hypertension, adult onset diabetes, and other problems with obesity. Apparently he didn't either.

In any case, we gave me a lollipop and had me sit on his lap, and apparently he wasn't a pervert of any type, he just really liked kids like Michael Jackson.

I think he's still alive these days, hanging out with these short dudes he called "elks" or "elfs" or some similar ethnic slur. They didn't seem to mind too mind.

His wife was a  real piece of work, alternately bitching him out for being a fatso and then running around and insisting he eat more.

Mrs. Claus didn't like most of the elves, except Sneezy, Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Happy, Bashful ,and Grumpy.  She really like Grumpy because they had a lot in common.

Anyway, this Santa guy, I think he's still alive despite his long term health problems, was extremely festive. He liked to "deck the halls" with festive stuff and have his dwarfs or elves or trolls or whatever they're called make toys.

So I decided to take this "deck the halls concept" to the great outdoors. You see Santa couldn't because it's too cold where he lives and anyways he's kind of busy. Actually, I think he only works one day a year but it's pretty intense and he needs the rest of the year to recover.

He likes to go to Cancun undercover and wears this butt ugly fluorescent green bathing suit, but he gives everyone lollipops and buys margaritas so no one rocks the boat.

So anyways, here's my "deck the great outdoors" or Christmas Yard Decor Web site.

Read, enjoy, and if you buy stuff I might make a few coins and perhaps can afford a lifestyle, at least for while. Maybe I'll go to Cancun too?

Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy Christmas Yard Decor :)